Why is it so HARD to Schedule a HARDware Removal?

After another day of confusion and frustration, I am now finally scheduled for hardware removal on Monday morning at 11:30 am.  I will spare you the details of the many long and drawn out conversations both George and I had with the insurance company and assistants at the doctor's office.  Suffice it to say, we think these wires will be off my face by Monday evening.  Lets keep our fingers crossed.  I will tell you one thing….the assistant told me I would need to be NPO after midnight on Sunday (only because I interrupted her as she tried to say goodbye to ask this question) so I better eat a heavy dinner Sunday night.  A heavy dinner…right.  She obviously has never had her jaws wired shut  before.  There is nothing heavy about anything I eaten lately…well, I guess that half jar of melted peanut butter could be considered heavy…..

So to make Wednesday go by faster I took George to Disney.  This makes our fourth trip.  I am really gonna miss the close proximity to Disney when we move back to NC.  He met Donald who is now his favorite character apparently.

Can you believe how tall George looks?

Also worth a little shout out….IT RAINED today.  And rained hard!!  George's school was even cancelled because the power went out.  Now I know northerners make fun of Southerners when we cease to exist because of a 1/4 inch of snow but for the power to go out because of the same amount of rain is just funny to me.  It was so nice to hear the rain.  Since our bedroom used to be a sunroom the ceiling and walls are very thin and as I awoke this morning, the sound of the rain was reminiscent of a summer medium sprinkle under a tin roof.  I let myself go back to sleep and just enjoy it.  Normally I would feel bad that I have shared this with people that I know work very hard and never get this opportunity but today it just felt like a little gift from God - to me, his daughter.  Like he was trying to tell me, "I know you've been through a lot, but I will bring you through it. Enjoy this little gift of rain today".  And so I did.  We thawed out the rest of mom's spaghetti sauce tonight and the boys really enjoyed it! I enjoyed my tomato soup too for the record.  Three more days of wires.  If I can get through tomorrow, I have a busy weekend to keep me company.  Coffee with a new friend Saturday morning, then I get to bake my first apple pie of the season.  Sunday we have church and then our playoff game and then I will make cornbread.  All of these baked good will be enjoyed by others at a gathering of friends for Thanksgiving dinner Sunday night.  Maybe there will be leftovers. Then I will eat my heavy dinner of pureed corn soup and a banana milkshake.  That will be the last pureed soup and milkshake for a long long while.  I hope. And I pray.  Have a great weekend everyone!!

Here's to the Land of the Long Leaf Pine

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year is upon us! BASKETBALL SEASON!  Bittersweet for me this year since I cannot watch my beloved Tarheels.  I have never missed three games in a row that I can remember and certainly have never missed an entire season.  I was present in Carmichael Stadium during the 1981-1982 season and never missed a season since.  Presence in the womb totally counts.  Thats probably why I feel like I do when the drum line starts.  That might have been one of the first loud sounds that I ever heard.  I may need lots of support to get through this.  I wonder if there is something like Alma Mater Anonymous....I may need to start one.  I know there are at least one or two Tarheels over here on the West Coast.   Good thing there's a BW3s down the street.  I have a feeling I might acquire a taste for wings in the next few months.
I want to share a link to a story about Dean Smith. Tomorrow he will receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  If you know me well, you know how I feel about Dean.  If I could meet anyone who is alive today it would be him.  Even in his current state of mind I would still pick him.  In fact I feel as if I already know him since my obsession with him began when I was a child.
Here it is before you start to think I am a little too crazy about basketball.  He was a good man and coaching was just one of his many gifts.
http://www.unc.edu/spotlight/dean-smiths-courage/

Since we did not bring any Christmas decorations to California I guess I will have to try and get crafty.  I have a few ideas of some Christmas crafts that will help make our season merry and bright and what better place to shop than the 99 cent store!  When I emerged with my loot (all under 20.00! whoohoo. Gotta love the dollar store. Runs in my blood) I saw a bright pink piece of paper under my windshield wiper.  My first negative and skeptical thought was, "Waste of paper. WHAT now?!  (channeling my inner Bertie).  Advertisements all over the place. Leave my car alone"... Well wouldn't you know it, it was a fellow Tarheel who had apparently seen all the stickers on my car and left me a note that made me smile as big as I have since the wires were put on.
Then I felt bad about my negative attitude...

And this would be cool all on its own but I had just finished a long conversation with the cashier in Trader Joe's about how great NC is.  She checked my ID because I bought a bottle of Pinot Noir, saw the North Carolina license and said she has always thought she could move there.  She had Charlotte in mind and said the most wonderful things about our state.  She loved that the houses were all so nice and "plantation-like" and at the same time affordable.  We talked about the weather in North Cack and So Cal and we decided that California might win that battle except for the seasons.  Snow was not on either of our happy-lists.  So today was full of Carolina love and it made me so nostalgic for home.  Here's to the land of the long leaf pine.........GO HEELS!!!!!

Hot Apple Pie? Yes Please!

All this talk about Thanksgiving has got me Jones-in' for a slice of hot apple pie.  With a little creativity, this clenched tooth girl can do anything!

Hot Applesauce Pie :

1 cup applesauce
2 Tbsp Almond Butter
Micro-wave these two ingredients for 10 seconds and repeat one or two times until the applesauce is warm.  Mine took three ten second intervals.  Stir to incorporate the AB and sauce.
Sprinkle with  cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger.  Amazingly good and simple.

You may wonder why I share all these pureed recipes with you- the ones who can chew.  When this first happened a dear friend sent me five different personal blogs that helped me out a lot as I figured out this whole wired-shut thing.  Here's hoping this post and my other puree recipes find their way into some poor soul's inbox.  Its amazing what good a little unique snack can do for your day when you are in the beginning of the fourth week in chains and have exhausted all your go-to snacks.
Also, the ones I post I feel like I will probably still eat when I am no longer bound because they are so good.  So don't be afraid to try them!
You are welcome!!

In other news, my appointment was today and honestly it made me a little frustrated.  After a wait while I entertained George, the doc bounced in and said, "Oh - you...So when are we doing this?" My only guess is that he meant, when are we taking the wires off.  Once I realized this I said, "Well, I thought next Monday".  So he calls the nurse in and says "schedule her for hardware removal".  On the way out the door he must have sensed my frustration because he put on a glove and felt the outside of my jaw.  "How does that feel?  Good, you are going to be fine.  Bone's healing great".  This all took about 90 seconds.  I didn't even get a chance to tell him I had been in a lot of pain the past week.  Then the nurse told me she would call me and tell me when the surgery to remove hardware would be.  She has to check insurance.  Two minutes total, if that.  I got myself and my kiddo dressed and prepared for two minutes of nothing.  We could have totally done this over the phone.  (The one redeeming factor is that the office is located very near one of my favorite coffee shops so I got a mocha to go)  So- I get it , I understand, medicine is not what it should be, but I am a little frustrated because I want to know exactly when these things will be removed.  Don't we always want to know exactly when and where? Lord, help me be a patient patient.  Help me trust that you have this too in your sovereign hands.  Help me not to take this out on docs and nurses, it is not their fault this happened to me.  Give me mercy and give me grace.  And give me more ideas about pureed food so I can distract myself until this nurse calls me back. :)
Friends, pray for me as I try my hardest to be patient, understanding, and flexible.  And pray that these wires will be removed sooner rather than later!

Giver of Good Gifts

I have decided that the third week of Maxillo-Mandibular Fixation is just as bad as the first week.  But in light of my decision to try and stay positive and not grumble or complain I will instead inform you that I have 7 days and 15 hours until these bles-sed (2 syllables) wires no longer bind my poor mouth.  Things went south Thursday and I have not felt well since then.  I do not feel well in general and one screw in particular has caused me to go back on narcotics for the past three nights in order to sleep.  So thats the MMF update.  Otherwise, things around here have been very laid back.

Here's a little story about God's goodness Friday night.
I felt oh-so-crummy and had actually commenced to peer into the cupboards longingly for a snack even though I knew I would find nothing to satisfy.  I was chilly and the pureed black bean soup from lunch was long gone.   Hot tea would warm me up but would leave me in need of something more.  I could make a milkshake to fill me up but it was almost time for dinner and I was cold.  The last thing I wanted was to chill myself to the bone.  Then George and George entered with the mail and a package from my dear friend Lindsay.  This girl knows me so well.  It was hot chocolate mix! But not just any hot chocolate mix....super healthy hot chocolate mix!  The ingredients written on a piece of card stock in her lovely handwriting were bound around a glass jelly jar with black and white twine and were as follows:  cocoa, maca root, coconut sugar, vanilla protein powder, and cinnamon.  Leave it to Lindsay to mail me a healthy superfood that I, the healthy eater, have never heard of.  Has anyone heard of Raw Maca Root powder?  Lindsay, put your hand down.  Apparently it nourishes the endocrine system, fights stress, increases stamina, boosts..well...uhhh...this is not the place to say that it boosts that....and combats fatigue.  Needless to say, I immediately soothed my cold, hungry self with a big mug of that chocolate-y goodness.  She also included the rest of the bag of Maca Root powder to add to my smoothies and milkshakes.  I am so thankful for Lindsay and the way she knows me so well.  And I am so thankful for the Lord who orchestrated her good deed so beautifully in order to meet my every need and at just the perfect time.  LHS-YAMS!

We had a lazy Saturday and did nothing.  Well, I did nothing and George entertained the little guy and took him all over South Pasadena so I could rest.  Sunday proved to be another wonderful Sabbath day.  I went to cheer my team for the last regular season game.  It was nice to see everyone but really hard to be on the bench.  It reminded me of the last bone I broke at the National Tournament for Club Softball in Ohio.  I sat on the bench with my team and learned for the first time how to take score- and left handedly at that.  I could not have hand picked a more caring and genuine team.  Even though my season was short with them, I appreciate and will miss them.  We won and will be in the playoffs next Sunday.

I must note that my husband has carried the weight of this whole ordeal.  He has been ON IT since the minute this terrible thing happened.  He does not think I notice all he does.  I notice that the trash gets taken out every night. I notice that the doggie poop bags were replaced.  I noticed that he cleaned my car inside and out and got Georgie a much needed haircut in the same outing. I noticed that he makes the bed if he can get to it before I do.  I notice that he disciplines our son even when it is not an efficient means to an end.  I notice how he now translates our son's full-mouthed gibberish for me, instead of the other way around.  I notice that he cleans his breakfast dishes so I do not have to.  I notice when he puts everything on hold to watch TV with me because I am bored.  I notice the way he gently encourages me every time I start to get down.  I notice that he was the one to get up with George both of these weekend mornings when we usually take turns.  I notice the way he keeps a good attitude when its definitely "his turn" to have a meltdown (we tend to take turns).  I notice that he tries his hardest to enjoy his food in the least vocal way possible because he knows how I crave what he eats.  I notice the way he takes over without complaint when I have to suddenly exit the scene of full throttle three year old and go rest.  I notice and have lost count of how many games of "airplane", "hide and seek", "trains" and "cars" in which he has played the lead role.   There is no one else who would be as patient with me as he has been.  There is no one else who would love and treat our son in the way he does.  Thanks be to God for this man in my life.

 I had a few rotten days in a row.  I was about to send out invites to a pity party.  Sunday morning in my time with the Lord he lead me to Psalm 100 and 104.
Psalm 100
"Shout for JOY to the Lord all the earth.  Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.  Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

The verses in Psalm 104 that stuck out to me were 14-15 and 27.
14-He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for man to cultivate-bringing forth food from the earth; 15-wine that gladdens the heart of man, oil to make his face shine, and bread that sustains his heart.

27- These all look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things.

These obviously spoke to me because of the food references (have I mentioned I am tired of the liquid diet?) however I know that God speaks to us in ways we can understand. Our human nature understands food-so he puts his words in our terms.  What he gives us though is so much bigger and better than a big bowl of pasta or a hunk of french baguette.  The wine and bread and oil he speaks of is his Holy Word and his peace, hope and love.  These are the things that truly gladden our hearts, sustain us and make our faces shine.

I had to stop and remind myself of all I have to be thankful for in spite of (and even because of) this thorn in my side.  I decided to make a Psalm 100- joyful list of all these things. I will not include my list here because it is very long but it included everything from peanut butter and good drugs to more serious items like gratitude for the chance to wake up and watch my little boy play one more day.  As dire as that sounds, it is truth.  When I feel sorry for myself, I need to check myself and realize that I have the ability to FEEL.  And the ability to feel means you're alive and that, my friends, is a blessing no matter what you face.  God will give us good things.  He promises to.  Everything from grass for the cattle to wine that gladdens our hearts, and bread...oh bread....that sustains our hearts.  He will satisfy us with good things.  In fact he already has.  Make your list and you will see and know that the Lord is good.  You will feel like a sheep in his pasture, and you will experience his faithfulness as it flows through all generations.  Thanks and praise be to God.

The Heart Speaks

Today I am so proud of my little guy. The heart says it all.  

Kinda Perfect Weekend Pictures

A Kinda Perfect Weekend. A Sorta Bad Day

If you are worried about my ability to get enough good food in me, you shouldn't.  Today for lunch I had a chocolate smoothie:
1/2 banana
1 container (about a cup) of Trader Joe's European Style Chocolate Yogurt
1 cup of soy milk
1 scoop of Soy Protein Powder
1 Tbsp Trader Joes Speculoos Cocoa Spread (Its basically cookie dough swirled with Nutella)

But on the other hand you could worry that I love this clenched teeth grin less and less every day. I want to smile BIG. I want to brush my teeth. I want to bite into my favorite fall fruit and taste the sweet crunch of the skin between my teeth.  I want to hug my son without a flinch.  I want to reach up to get the cereal down without pain.  I want to scratch my nose without the metal in my mouth piercing my lips.  This just stinks and though I am half way through, I have to just be honest- it feels like I have a long way to go.  Maybe because I began to call it 'two weeks' last Thursday and now its still 'TWO weeks' on Tuesday.  Maybe because Thanksgiving is everywhere I turn and food is on everyone's minds this month.  Maybe  because I can see my teeth as they change color because I cannot brush (sorry- GROSS, I know, but thats what I deal with every day).  Maybe because advertisements for fast food on billboards makes me drool these days. Maybe its because I am tired of the awkward explanation I feel I owe to every person with whom I talk.  Maybe its because two people have asked me if this was an elective surgery (As in- to loose weight).  My thoughts: "You have got to be kidding me right now.  Are you joking? Are you serious? I am so focused on food right now that if someone would let me out of these chains, I would eat my money's worth for the first time at Golden Corral."  A word to the wise: (and I do apologize to the person who has had this done to loose weight- I honestly hope it helped you out, really I do) This is the absolute worst way to loose weight.  There is no way I (I...me...- some others of you may have more will power than I do) would be able to keep the weight off even two days after the wires come off.  I am telling y'all as soon as I get these off I am going to KFC.  Or Carl's Jr (Hardees, east coasters) or Western Sizzlin'.  Does this sound like me? Not at all.  I feel like I might go crazy.  Maybe I already have.

So enough with the jokes- its hard but its not the worst thing.  That was just some brutal honestly for you, the ones who really care how I feel today.  BUT (there's always a "but" when we have faith in the Lord) I know God will use this to draw me closer to him.  I have thought about this a lot but no one, not even me, has been able to put it into words.  This morning I received a beautiful email from one of my biggest encouragers- my sister.   It was very timely and helped me rise above this "funk".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Msw6Kgss-0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

"Praying for you this morning. I felt like God was revealing to me his radical, extreme love for you. John 15:9 says that Jesus loves you just as the father loves him. The father loved Jesus enough to allow his crucifixion and death so that Jesus could then be glorified and his name be exalted above every name. That is crazy love. I'm not always sure I even want such love. Christ's love for you has your glorious end in mind. He'll allow insanity (maybe even a softball pegging you right on the jaw from the outfield...) to achieve glory for you, to get deeper inside you. Christ in you, your hope of glory. Watch out! He 'loves like a hurricane.' :) And if you are a tree, be a NC pine that bends like rubber and is flexible with where the spirit is blowing!"

Don't you just love her? Don't you just love that God speaks to us through our loved ones sometimes?  I sure do!  Additionally today I received emails from two different friends who had heard about what happened and THREE cards in the mail, two from my Gram'ma Margo that made me laugh out loud.  She put a smile on my face today.  Then I got another text in the later evening with promises to bring food so I could take a break from preparing meals for the Georges.  God has blessed me through my loving friends and family and he has timed each little gift so perfectly.  "Lord, you never let go of me!"

Other than drooling over billboards and a little carsickness, our weekend was kinda perfect .  Friday night we had George's friend E over.  Her parents are the ones who kept George for us when the accident happened.  E's mom had a need for a quick babysitter and called me.  Man it felt good to help- especially her and especially after I realized that two kiddos who are the same age are way easier than one.  They played the entire time.  When George got home we ate together at the kitchen table for the first time since we've been here.  G and E just played and played and played.  Date night for me and big G.  

Saturday morning we decided to go to Big Bear.  In the winter it is a ski slope about the size of Wintergreen or Winterplace on the East Coast.  In the summer and fall, mountain bikers claim the slopes.  You pay five bucks (cheap by CA standards) to ride up the chair lift, which George referred to as the "wheel chair" and then you either hike or ride your bike down.  We - obviously- hiked down and it took us about an hour.  Fresh air, lots of giggles from an out-of-control little 3 year old, picnic lunch, sunshine and a gorgeous view.  It does not get much better.  Then on our way down the mountain we saw a sign for a Mile Long Alpine Slide.   Turn this car around, that sounds fun!   It was also five bucks to ride a "wheel chair" up a little hill and then board your personal sled with a brake to control your speed.  The track was like a small bobsled half pipe.  It was really fun.  I kind of got a "South of the Border" feel from the whole place, very touristy.  Who says tourists don't have fun though?  Georgie loved it.  We loved it.  Then we headed down the mountain and I got very carsick.  Other than that it was the perfect day.  This was only an hour and a half away from our house.  Sunday we went to church and had a good Sabbath-we rested the entire afternoon.  I was able to run for 30 minutes that morning before church. It felt SO good to stretch my legs.  Then Monday we decided to go to the beach because big G had the day off.  We opted for Huntington Beach and rented a Surrey when we arrived.  George and I peddled beside each other and Georgie sat in a little basket in front.  It was kind of like a paddle boat, a lot of work but always gets a giggle out of the passengers.  Again- touristy fun.  Then we were off in search of a smoothie. We found Jan's Health Bar and it was very good.  I got a Blueberry Kale Peanut Butter Strawberry Smoothie with Raspberry juice and added chocolate soy protein.  George got date, banana and soy.  They were both fantastic.  So  Huntington Beach is in Orange County, which means you may see somewhere around four Lamborghini sports cars (I had to look up how to even spell that AND spell check made me capitalize the L) on any given weekday and everyone has one or two little dogs with them.   Everyone either looks older than they are from the sun or younger than they are because of plastic surgery.  Which makes for some very difficult people-watching.   So here we are at Jan's Health Bar with all the young/old, Lamborghini-driving, little-dog-walking, OC folks and I pull out our PB and J sandwiches to compliment the boys' smoothie because we were not about to buy lunch in such an expensive place.  I was too cheap to even use ziplock bags- the sammies were packed in the bread bag because it was the end of the loaf.  Don't act like you've never done that before.  I don't know why this tickled me so, but it did.  I love our life and would not change it for the world.  We certainly do not belong in the OC, but it sure is fun to visit!  The rest of the day we basked in the warm-you-to-the-core sun and strolled down the long pier.  We saw lots of surfers and fish from a birds eye view and my favorite sight- a lazy pelican who would not move even if touched (he was alive, because he constantly preened his feathers).  I thought of my Daddy who loves Pelicans.  He would have loved this whole scene.  I think we made the most of this holiday weekend- the mountains and snow one day and a little beachy sunburn the next.  I am so thankful for the Veterans who have made all this possible.  The ones who sacrificed for our freedom, freedom to choose where to go and when, freedom to spend that time with people we love, freedom to have a family and friends and freedom to be a tourist when we feel like it.  Thanks to the many many soldiers who have sacrificed and especially my two favorites, Grandaddy WHR and Grandfather DDB.