1/2 banana
1 container (about a cup) of Trader Joe's European Style Chocolate Yogurt
1 cup of soy milk
1 scoop of Soy Protein Powder
1 Tbsp Trader Joes Speculoos Cocoa Spread (Its basically cookie dough swirled with Nutella)
But on the other hand you could worry that I love this clenched teeth grin less and less every day. I want to smile BIG. I want to brush my teeth. I want to bite into my favorite fall fruit and taste the sweet crunch of the skin between my teeth. I want to hug my son without a flinch. I want to reach up to get the cereal down without pain. I want to scratch my nose without the metal in my mouth piercing my lips. This just stinks and though I am half way through, I have to just be honest- it feels like I have a long way to go. Maybe because I began to call it 'two weeks' last Thursday and now its still 'TWO weeks' on Tuesday. Maybe because Thanksgiving is everywhere I turn and food is on everyone's minds this month. Maybe because I can see my teeth as they change color because I cannot brush (sorry- GROSS, I know, but thats what I deal with every day). Maybe because advertisements for fast food on billboards makes me drool these days. Maybe its because I am tired of the awkward explanation I feel I owe to every person with whom I talk. Maybe its because two people have asked me if this was an elective surgery (As in- to loose weight). My thoughts: "You have got to be kidding me right now. Are you joking? Are you serious? I am so focused on food right now that if someone would let me out of these chains, I would eat my money's worth for the first time at Golden Corral." A word to the wise: (and I do apologize to the person who has had this done to loose weight- I honestly hope it helped you out, really I do) This is the absolute worst way to loose weight. There is no way I (I...me...- some others of you may have more will power than I do) would be able to keep the weight off even two days after the wires come off. I am telling y'all as soon as I get these off I am going to KFC. Or Carl's Jr (Hardees, east coasters) or Western Sizzlin'. Does this sound like me? Not at all. I feel like I might go crazy. Maybe I already have.
So enough with the jokes- its hard but its not the worst thing. That was just some brutal honestly for you, the ones who really care how I feel today. BUT (there's always a "but" when we have faith in the Lord) I know God will use this to draw me closer to him. I have thought about this a lot but no one, not even me, has been able to put it into words. This morning I received a beautiful email from one of my biggest encouragers- my sister. It was very timely and helped me rise above this "funk".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Msw6Kgss-0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
"Praying for you this morning. I felt like God was revealing to me his radical, extreme love for you. John 15:9 says that Jesus loves you just as the father loves him. The father loved Jesus enough to allow his crucifixion and death so that Jesus could then be glorified and his name be exalted above every name. That is crazy love. I'm not always sure I even want such love. Christ's love for you has your glorious end in mind. He'll allow insanity (maybe even a softball pegging you right on the jaw from the outfield...) to achieve glory for you, to get deeper inside you. Christ in you, your hope of glory. Watch out! He 'loves like a hurricane.' :) And if you are a tree, be a NC pine that bends like rubber and is flexible with where the spirit is blowing!"
Don't you just love her? Don't you just love that God speaks to us through our loved ones sometimes? I sure do! Additionally today I received emails from two different friends who had heard about what happened and THREE cards in the mail, two from my Gram'ma Margo that made me laugh out loud. She put a smile on my face today. Then I got another text in the later evening with promises to bring food so I could take a break from preparing meals for the Georges. God has blessed me through my loving friends and family and he has timed each little gift so perfectly. "Lord, you never let go of me!"
Other than drooling over billboards and a little carsickness, our weekend was kinda perfect . Friday night we had George's friend E over. Her parents are the ones who kept George for us when the accident happened. E's mom had a need for a quick babysitter and called me. Man it felt good to help- especially her and especially after I realized that two kiddos who are the same age are way easier than one. They played the entire time. When George got home we ate together at the kitchen table for the first time since we've been here. G and E just played and played and played. Date night for me and big G.
Saturday morning we decided to go to Big Bear. In the winter it is a ski slope about the size of Wintergreen or Winterplace on the East Coast. In the summer and fall, mountain bikers claim the slopes. You pay five bucks (cheap by CA standards) to ride up the chair lift, which George referred to as the "wheel chair" and then you either hike or ride your bike down. We - obviously- hiked down and it took us about an hour. Fresh air, lots of giggles from an out-of-control little 3 year old, picnic lunch, sunshine and a gorgeous view. It does not get much better. Then on our way down the mountain we saw a sign for a Mile Long Alpine Slide. Turn this car around, that sounds fun! It was also five bucks to ride a "wheel chair" up a little hill and then board your personal sled with a brake to control your speed. The track was like a small bobsled half pipe. It was really fun. I kind of got a "South of the Border" feel from the whole place, very touristy. Who says tourists don't have fun though? Georgie loved it. We loved it. Then we headed down the mountain and I got very carsick. Other than that it was the perfect day. This was only an hour and a half away from our house. Sunday we went to church and had a good Sabbath-we rested the entire afternoon. I was able to run for 30 minutes that morning before church. It felt SO good to stretch my legs. Then Monday we decided to go to the beach because big G had the day off. We opted for Huntington Beach and rented a Surrey when we arrived. George and I peddled beside each other and Georgie sat in a little basket in front. It was kind of like a paddle boat, a lot of work but always gets a giggle out of the passengers. Again- touristy fun. Then we were off in search of a smoothie. We found Jan's Health Bar and it was very good. I got a Blueberry Kale Peanut Butter Strawberry Smoothie with Raspberry juice and added chocolate soy protein. George got date, banana and soy. They were both fantastic. So Huntington Beach is in Orange County, which means you may see somewhere around four Lamborghini sports cars (I had to look up how to even spell that AND spell check made me capitalize the L) on any given weekday and everyone has one or two little dogs with them. Everyone either looks older than they are from the sun or younger than they are because of plastic surgery. Which makes for some very difficult people-watching. So here we are at Jan's Health Bar with all the young/old, Lamborghini-driving, little-dog-walking, OC folks and I pull out our PB and J sandwiches to compliment the boys' smoothie because we were not about to buy lunch in such an expensive place. I was too cheap to even use ziplock bags- the sammies were packed in the bread bag because it was the end of the loaf. Don't act like you've never done that before. I don't know why this tickled me so, but it did. I love our life and would not change it for the world. We certainly do not belong in the OC, but it sure is fun to visit! The rest of the day we basked in the warm-you-to-the-core sun and strolled down the long pier. We saw lots of surfers and fish from a birds eye view and my favorite sight- a lazy pelican who would not move even if touched (he was alive, because he constantly preened his feathers). I thought of my Daddy who loves Pelicans. He would have loved this whole scene. I think we made the most of this holiday weekend- the mountains and snow one day and a little beachy sunburn the next. I am so thankful for the Veterans who have made all this possible. The ones who sacrificed for our freedom, freedom to choose where to go and when, freedom to spend that time with people we love, freedom to have a family and friends and freedom to be a tourist when we feel like it. Thanks to the many many soldiers who have sacrificed and especially my two favorites, Grandaddy WHR and Grandfather DDB.
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