A Special Wedding

This past weekend a very dear friend was married to her prince.  There are no words that can describe how I feel about her....wait, yes there are.....I spoke them at her wedding!  I hope this goes better than it did live.  Little George found a vacant vertical musical instrument that the bluegrass band had left unattended and he accompanied me on the bass.  It did not help my already petrified state.  I absolutely abhor public speaking and every once in a while I am reminded of why that is. Saturday was my most recent reminder that I am a whole lot better at the written word than the spoken word. So here's to the internet and the ability to share with you all via computer screen instead.
Get your champagne glasses ready...

A toast to Lindsay

Before I begin I would like to apologize to Dan. Although this is your special day too, this toast is really all about Lindsay.  I do apologize.  I think the world of you and don't mean to leave you out, but I have way more dirt on Lindsay!  And this will also be a good window through which your your family can see who this Lindsay girl really was, is  and will continue to be.  

Numbers 6:24-26

“The Lord Bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face SHINE upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace”

So Lindsay and I became friends by default and by grand design.  I’ve known her since she came to Parker Middle School and I should mention for Dan’s family, from day one in middle school, Lindsay was in the cool crowd. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet and EVERYONE loved her.  All the boys were crushing on this one.  Dan- you are a lucky man.  But the most beautiful thing about Lindsay is that she did not even notice. All that attention went way over her head. Sounds cliche’ and most people are trying to be nice when they say things like that at rehearsal dinners but I can assure you, it was and is true of Lindsay.  So Lindsay and I found ourselves in the same places at the same times almost constantly.  For that I am grateful.  Otherwise, I am not sure I would have been confident enough to make friends with her.  I was a shy kid.  So, we lived in the small city of Rocky Mount and went to the same church, were in the same girl scout troop, went to the same dances, had the same friends, went to the same pool, played sports in the same leagues, etc.   We were smooshed up in this small town together and eventually the inevitable happened- we realized we clicked on a lot of things.  Youth group was really the thing that glued us together I think. Kris- who you will get to know this weekend if you don't already know her- was one of the biggest influences on us as young teens. She led our youth group.  Its amazing how sharing your hearts, even at such a young age, can create such an inseparable bond.  Since Lindsay’s mom and dad poured their hearts and souls into youth group the entire time I knew them,  Lindsay pretty much had to come every week.  My family made it clear that if I did not want to do church youth choir (which I can assure you- I did NOT)I had to do youth group.  I can hear myself now- “ sure, mom and dad, I will go on weekend long ski trips, sleepovers, eat junk food, be with my friends if you just don't make me go to youth choir- sounds like a deal to me”.  Anyway- Lindsay's parents, Kris and many others made that a very special, safe and meaningful place for us both.  We also went to the same summer camp, spent spring breaks together, and attended the same parties- I should mention we spent “senior night” together. What’s senior night?….  A few words to paint the picture : All night the night before the first day of our senior year:  Open Field, Pickup trucks, brown bag, no adults, spray paint, shaving cream.  What, did you expect me to skip those parts? Heck no! Those were the golden years, the “sunshine years” - if you will.  So by our senior year, Lindsay and I were pretty much best friends. We decided we needed a secret slogan or phrase.  IDK why, high school girls just do that kind of thing.  After much thought, “YAMS” was created.  Now, YAMS is an an acronym for “You Are My Sunshine”.  Lindsay and I also liked that our anacronym spelled out a southern vegetable.  (upon looking up Yams on wikipedia, I found out that yams are actually native to Africa and Asia, but whatever, we think its Southern…maybe candied yams are Southern?).   We still use this, ALL THE TIME.

We remained close friends in college even though she turned her back on her Tarheel roots and went to NC State.  Sorry- your dad paid me to put that in.   The “sunshine years” continued our freshman year as we saw each other often. I met Lauren Winslow and Lindsay knew my freshman roommate from Governor’s school.  We did the Chapel Thrill Halloween thing and I went to some design school  parties with her.  

Psalm 4:6-7

“Let the light of your face shine up on us, O Lord,You have filled my heart with greater Joy than when grain and new wine abound”

But you never know who your sunshine is until it gets dark, right? Well, Easter morning my freshman year, things got dark.  Lindsay was there in the church yard waiting for me with open arms hours after a breakup and a speeding ticket to boot.  That day, she was more my sunshine than ever.  At that age, under those circumstances, about the only person a girl wants to see is her best friend at a moment like that one.  Well, sophomore year-(are there any kids in here?) shit hit the fan for both of us.  We both found ourselves in a dark place, a stormy place, a place deeper than either of us wanted to be.  Don't want to send the mood down but this is so much a part of our story.  We held each other up during this time.  We were each other’s sunshine and boy we needed it.  

John 1:5

“The light SHINES in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it”

I’ve never told you this story Lindsay but early one fall morning in Chapel Hill I set out for my daily run.  I was feeling so depressed and sad this particular morning..  It was the worst I had felt in a long time.  For some reason, I began to think about my family and my friend’s smiles.  I think the Lord just knew I needed some Joy.  I am not talking about the smile we’ve all learned to put on for the camera. I am talking about that smile that lights up our eyes, that smile that comes from somewhere deep down inside of us where Joy lives.  When you laugh with a best friend, or see a puppy, or meet the man of your dreams-- that smile.  I spent a good long moment meditating on each smile and when I came to Lindsay’s, tears came to my eyes.  We were both so low that I realized I had not seen that smile in a long time in myself or my best friend.  In that moment, I made a plan. I would let Lindsay see my smile again and I would do my very best to bring hers back too.  So I began to pray for her and for me to be joyful again. Not happy- because happiness is different than Joy- I wanted to see that smile again on her face and on my face. There was nothing I could physically do myself to make that happen but miraculously God made it happen.  

2 Cor 4:6

“For God who said ‘Let the light SHINE out of darkness’ made his light SHINE in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ”

And now look at her, show us that smile Lindsay.  There it is.  Doesn't she have a great smile?  I teared up even as I wrote this toast. Thank you Lindsay for being my sunshine through the bright, golden, sunshine years and through the dark, storms of my life also.  I have some carrot/ yam seeds here for your garden at home so you can remember that you always have sunshine somewhere.  Even when its raining or stormy.  And here’s a little nugget I have learned from my measly six years of marriage-only measly because several folks here have enjoyed years upon years of this kind of wisdom and I want to respect that. The rain and the storms in your marriage are just as important (I think they are MORE important) to your growth as a couple as this glorious moment we are experiencing right at this moment.  This wedding weekend will be Glorious, Golden, Shining and memorable.  This is the mountaintop.  My prayer for you both is that you will also see the rain and the storms that will surely come as useful and as a huge part of your journey;  accept them and welcome them as a way for God to be your Master gardener.  It is His way of  removing the weeds from your garden and replacing  them with living, thriving green plants and eventually fruit in abundance.  I pray your harvest will be plentiful.   I love you and wish you both the best.  

Matt 5:14 and 16

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden…in the same way let your light SHINE”

Disney Pictures

The Happiest Place on Earth.

I know, I KNOW! Its been a week since my last post.  The past week has been a doozie!  I'll just jump right in....
Last Thursday George and I both were able to work in the classroom at Georgie's school.  It fascinated me to see ten children with ten completely different personalities. It was a ton of work.  We left around 12:30 pm and George and I both felt like we were beaten with a stick.  A Cooperative Preschool is no joke.  I even cleaned the potty.  My favorite part was at the end when they have circle time.  They sing a song about who is at school.  The teacher holds up a picture of one of the children who is present.  The kids are supposed to sing the song and then say the name of the child in the picture.  Every time George would half sing the song and point to the child who was in the picture for the entirety of the verse.  It was so cute to see him recognize his friends.  We all crashed for a nap after lunch at home.

Friday we went to the happiest place on earth......DISNEYLAND!!!! It was worth the price you pay. I rarely feel okay about forking-over ten bucks but I had no regret whatsoever about the amount we left behind at Disneyland.  We got off the bus and Disney music blared over the loudspeakers. What did I do? I cried.  Yep. Totally had tears in my eyes. It was just so surreal. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. Everyone remembers the moment you enter Disney as a child and so as I shared that experience with my first born child, it was all just too much.  I wish I could bottle up that first experience for him because it truly was the best day we've had as a family in a very long time.  We arrived as the park opened at 9:00 and headed to the Cars Park.  We had been advised to do that first.  We got lucky and met Lightning McQueen and got a family picture.  We rode every ride that George was tall enough to ride.  We stopped for every snack we felt like, Pineapple soft serve at 10:00 am included.  We enjoyed this while we waited for the Tiki Room show to get us in the Hawaiian mood.  We rode Pirates of the Caribbean, did the Jungle Cruise, rode the Disney RR, Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage, Tarzan's Treehouse, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blaster, and Autopia- the gas powered cars that anyone can drive (Big George's favorite).  George got his face painted like a dragon that "spits fire".   He sat completely still while the dude painted his face. I could not believe my eyes. I have never ever ever seen him that still for that long. At around 4:00,  it felt like we had walked about 20 miles.  We saw the Parade and after it was over, about 5:00, we decided we would try to get a table at a really neat restaurant called Blue Bayou.  It was inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and looked and felt like a Louisiana summer night inside, complete with frog and cicada noises.  Although it was still light outside and people bustled about, we got a table in this dark, quiet, lantern-lit room. I tell ya, Disney has it figured out.  George was so well behaved-probably because he was dog tired and dehydrated.   He stayed right in his chair the whole time.  The food was good and our feet thanked us for the break.  After we left, we walked over to the other park and did the Muppets 3D movie, Ariel's Adventure, Mater's Junkyard Jamboree, Luigi's Flying Tires, and King Tritons Carousel.  We tried to stay for the fireworks/ light show but realized we had forgotten about poor Dean.  We left the park after a few tears and one last purchase- a sparkly light up thing, gotcha again- around 9 pm.  Yes, you did the math right, the Edwards family stayed ALL day, twelve hours, with no nap.  George was hilarious and cute the whole day.  He was such a trooper and walked most of the day. We did have to carry him a lot but it was sweet. We bonded so much as a family.  One of his favorite things to do was watch Splash Mountain.  He said, "When I get tall- this big- we gon ride dif one" I think I have a little thrill seeker on my hands.  I will post a whole bunch of pictures from Disney so you can experience it a bit also.  I hope they will make you smile.

Saturday was low key because, lets face it, George and I are old and need to rest after a day like Friday.   Then Saturday evening the George's hung out together and I babysat for Lauren and Tyler while they went on a much needed date to the LA county fair.  I think they had a blast and I had fun too.  Tac is so darn cute and easy.  To watch someone else's child is really almost as good as having a break yourself. And they have ESPN!

Sunday we went to church and then I helped clean out, organize and clean the nursery with some other young adults.  I love to organize, its a gift, what can I say?!?

Then it was off to my softball games...wait...nope one more stop....Dick's Sporting Goods to buy some cleats.  Why did I bring my glove and not my cleats?  A stop at Dicks might sound easy but its not that easy when you don't know where it is.  And then to find the fields after that....oh wait, where's my glove? Crap, I left it at home....back home...kiss George....out the door....find the fields....will they like me? Will I fit in? Will I play like crap? Will I overthrow and loose the game for the team?  I hope I am dressed appropriately....wait, was that my turn?.....ok. there's the fields.  what color did he say they would be wearing again? These people look intense....I am in over my head....They are way better than me...wanna toss?  OK. ok.  ok.  Two overthrows with the best girl on the team.  great becca, just great. Make the short stop run after the ball not once, but twice.  get it together girl!  Last batter, sit out the first inning... ok. guess its gonna be like that huh? Its been a while since I have had to work for my position thats for sure.  I got a hit! Woo hooo! Next inning....Right field, major sun in my eyes, please don't hit it to me, note to self, grab my hat and sunglasses next inning...grounder to me, good job, nice throw to second, cool.  OK next at bat, DOUBLE!! woot woot.  OK, next inning, third base? you sure coach?  You see I was twelve the last time I played 3B...alright, made it through that inning only one ball got by me.  Not too bad.  Another at bat- got on base again and scored!

The rest of that game I played short stop, catcher, second base, and catcher again.  The next game I played a different position each inning.  It was SO stressful because I am so used to outfield but I did okay I guess.  Everyone was so nice and positive, the exact right amount of competitive-ness and just good 'ol fun.  Perfect team for me.  Coach was totally fair and let everyone take turns on the bench and in every position.  I basically had the best time ever.  I absolutely love softball.  I hope I can play until I am too old to walk.  I just love it that much.

Monday I cleaned the house.  Oh so fun, but gotta be done. George did not make it home until 9 pm. Tuesday we had our first playdate at our house after preschool and George decided not to nap after they left.  Then Lauren and Tac came over for snacks and played until evening.  George did not get in until 10pm. I was already asleep when he got home and then he left before I woke up.  I know he did come home because of the clothes strewn about the living room in his sweet attempt not to wake me.  Poor thing.

This morning we went for a run with two mom's from Preschool.  Their two were in school so they were solo and I pushed the stroller.  Its been a while since I ran with anyone and it was a challenge. One of the ladies was really fast and it was good for me to break out of the mold a little.  Then she lent me her pass to Kidspace (a children's museum in Pasadena very near where we ran).  That was so nice of her and she even said we could keep it for a while, her kids are tired of it.  So we went after our run and George loved it.  I can't wait to take him again because there were lots of school groups there and all the play areas were super crowded.
We got home and he went down for a nap. I was able to pack for my trip to a dear, dear friend's wedding this weekend.  We fly into D.C. Friday and  I am super nervous about the trip because it will be my first time on a plane by myself with George.  I am sure we'll do fine, but there's always that little bit of anxiety....

I sure hope George gets home for dinner tonight, because Thursday night he has conference until late.  Tonight might be the only time I get to see him this week before we go out of town this weekend.  Life of a fellow.....
Check back for some pictures of DISNEY!!

ACTION!!

Tuesday was George's second day of school by himself.  He did great, again!  I am so proud of him.  He asked me if I would stay but when I told him I could not he asked the nearest lucky adult to "pway wif  me".  Then I had plans with my other George!  We met for coffee because George is on a "half stay-cation" this week.  His boss is on vacation so he has no scheduled surgeries.  George has only gone into work to check on and discharge patients from last week.  So we were able to have a quiet morning coffee date and it was marvelous! I found out later that his dad surprised his mom and came home early from work to take her to lunch the same day.  I then thought about the time difference and wondered if maybe both George's took their wives out on an unexpected date at the same exact time.  Our coffee date at 9:00 am would mean lunch for Raleigh at 12 noon.  Possible!  I checked out some of the boutiques nearby and had a nice time as I shopped for a few things without an extra accessory on my arm in the form of a little boy.  I wish that look would become trendy.  I'd have it DOWN.  I'd be on the cover of EVERY magazine.    

When we both picked George up, we realized that he was the "leader" of the day.  So I went over to him on the shapes mat and said, "Hi! You were the leader?" and continued to ask him questions about his day as he stared straight ahead.  I thought he was tired or maybe just in a stubborn mood but finally he said, "Mommy, tap me on the shoulder". So I did and he popped up so fast that he almost busted my lip and hugged my neck as tight as he ever has.  Precious thing, it was all he could do to follow directions to "wait until mommy taps you on the shoulder to pop up and give her a hug".  So sweet.  And I am so impressed with how well he listens and follows directions. Whats the trick? How can I get him to listen and follow them like that at home?? Geesh, these teachers have some magic up their sleeves.   Next time I will remember to tap him first thing, so he does not have to go through that display of will power again.  We all came home and took a nap after lunch together on the patio.  

Today,Wednesday, we met a friend at the park and there were signs up everywhere. The signs indicated that the area would be filmed so if you did not want to be in the background, not to enter.  No one seemed to notice but me. I was fascinated by the whole idea.  I even googled the name of the show/movie.  I could hear them as they yelled "ACTION" and "CUT".  I grinned to myself and tried to blend in but I was absolutely thrilled.  It was the first time I have ever seen that, but it is such a part of life here.  It is the second time this week I have seen police as they direct traffic and boom trucks as they film in our neighborhood.  LA is just full of artists.  Constant production, constant entertainment, constant motion.  It's really neat to be a part of a culture like this.  

AHHHHHHH, how refreshing!

Saturday was filled with laughter and good times!   We spent all day at the Santa Monica Pier.  My friend and college room mate Mary and her fiancé were in Santa Monica for a wedding the same weekend as our dear friends Elizabeth and Stephen had planned to visit.  Both Georges, Mary and I rode bikes on the boardwalk in the morning and played on Muscle Beach.  We did the rings, the swings, the monkey bars and the balance beam and also saw some amazing kids do their thing at the skate park.  Mary and I had so much good time to catch up while we rode along the shore.  Then we met Elizabeth and Stephen and their friends, Dan and Denise, for lunch.  For lunch we had ah-maz-ing tacos (and even bloody marys at lunch time).  I got veggie tacos and they were to-die-for.  On the way to lunch, we saw the bird man again and he let little George hold his red parrot.  I hope our friends will send some pictures of that because I was unable to get a photo.  Mainly because the bird decided it liked me better and sat on my shoulder forever.  After lunch we said goodbye to Mary and borrowed a volleyball from some die-hard players who had an arsenal of extras.   We played beach volleyball for a little while and it was so so so much fun!  Our team lost but it was probably my fault because I had to serve with a little monkey attached to my front (little G).  Since George had been so good, we let him go on a ride at the pier and got some fresh fruit to snack on for the looooooong drive back.  Traffic was terrible and by the time we returned home, we were all exhausted.  The boys had planned to go to the Dodgers game so they took showers and Elizabeth and I decided to get some take out.  As it turned out, the game was sold out by the time they got there, so the boys returned and we grilled out on the back patio and continued to giggle and reminisce about times gone by.  George at one point looked at me and said, "I have not seen you like this in months".   It has been awhile since I've worn a smile this big.  Laughter is good medicine.  Such a great day with friends!!

Sunday was full of sabbath, and this has quickly become my favorite day of our week.  We go to church and return to a simple cold lunch.  We either nap or read together and other than this we try to do as little as possible.  I pray we will be able to continue this when we return.  It rejuvenates us so completely and we forget how much we need sabbath in our busy busy lives.  You should try it, its really nice!

One year ago

Saturday 9/14

George and I are surely in a much different place than we were last year at this time.  George had  surgery on 9/14/12 to remove a mass on his thyroid and at that point, we still had no clue what our futures would hold.  Today, last year, they would send the tumor they extracted to the pathology lab.  In just a few short hours we would know our fate.  We would either be home-free or we would face a second surgery and cancer therapy.  I just knew God's plan was that we would be home-free.  If we faced another surgery and therapy, he might not graduate on time (and God DID want him to graduate and help people asap, right?).  Not to mention that a second surgery meant the tumor was cancerous and scary enough for the doctors to want to remove the entire thyroid.  I just knew it would be the end of this ordeal for us.  But it was not.  God had some lessons, blessings and gifts to give us.
One lesson we both had to learn was how to RECEIVE.  As I look back I am stunned at how well our church cared for us.  The best way to describe the experience was that we were "carried". Carried by our church, carried by our friends, carried by our families.  Others stepped into the places I had committed myself at youth group (I do not and never will know who).  Others cooked dinner for us as often as we wanted it.  Someone else loved, entertained and cared for our two year old.   One friend even picked our son up the night before George's first surgery. Our two year old spent the night with this family (who also had a baby who was not even two yet) and then this friend drove our son to Wilmington to stay with Nana and PaPa for the weekend.  Then he drove Georgie back to us on Sunday.  God chose these willing servants to do his work sometimes but other times, He- in all his sovereignty- carried us himself.  He relieved me of my job in April of 2012.  At the time, it was a huge blow to my self esteem and my self worth.  But God knew I would need to be focused on my family because just two short months later, George saw the tumor on his neck for the first time.  I never once had to call my boss to say I would need another day, or week, off to go to a doctor's appointment or to care for my husband after surgery.  During the cancer therapy I never had to worry how I would provide an iodine free breakfast, lunch and dinner for George after a long day's work.  I was able to do all that while little George napped because I was home.  God took care of all that for me.  He also provided monetarily for our family during that time. Since I was "laid-off" I was able to receive unemployment for six months.  I will chronicle that debacle at a later date but as stressful, strange, unexpected and hard as it was, we were carried through that too.  God also provided a low-stress job with flexible hours for me.  I had never dreamed I would work in a bakery- one of the loves of my life- but that was a gift God chose to give me at this time in my life.
God carried us with the gift of Corrie, George's sitter.  Corrie began to take care of George when I returned to work from maternity leave.  He was three months old and she continued to care for him until we moved to California.  Their family became a part of our family over the course of those three years.  It was a miracle that she was able to keep George part time after I lost my job.  She needed full time work and I could not afford to put him in full time care since I was no longer employed. Out of the goodness of her heart she agreed to help until she found another full time person.  She never got another full time child, but a few new part timers.  I see this as God's provision for us both.   I was able to go with my husband to any appointment we thought was necessary, to cook for him, to care for him. She was so important to George's development during this time.  She was a constant when so much change was present in George's little life.  She never refused me when I asked for an earlier drop off or later pick up if I needed to be there for my husband.  She even came over once when I had a stomach bug and picked him up from his crib to take him so I could take care of myself.  You don't find people like that everyday.  I thank God for her.  She and her family were a gift.  A true blessing.
So you can see how he carried us.  He also taught us.  We prayed more together during this time.  We were humbled as the meal calendar filled up after only an hour, sometimes two separate meals by the same person.  We were humbled as friends drove from thirty minutes away in rush hour traffic to bring us a meal.  As the emails, calls and cards trickled in consistently, always encouraging us in the right moments, we were humbled.  And our parents and sisters and extended family!!! Wow, words cannot express how much they helped us, loved us, encouraged us along the way.  We could not have done it, and stayed sane,  had it not been for them, our biggest prayer warriors, our biggest fans.  George's phone calls with his sisters were a source of unparalleled encouragement for him.  He needed them so much. Sometimes I could not be emotionally present for him because I cared for a little person who happened to be experiencing the "terrible twos".  When I could not be there for him, one of his sisters was always at the ready with good advice, or just a listening, compassionate ear.  My sister was a free babysitter whenever we needed it and gave us the completely necessary gift of time as husband and wife to talk through all the emotions that come with a cancer diagnosis.  Our parents. Oh, our parents.  I cannot even begin to say how much we are indebted to them.  From their presence at both surgeries to understanding when we were not present at family events, their care for our son countless times when it was surely not convenient for them....If there was a need, if we as much as thought it, there they were to step in.  If everyone had a family that cared half as much as our families do, this world would be a beautiful place.   Phone calls, cards and letters from aunts, uncles and cousins also carried us.  To say the very least, we were humbled by all of this.  To be humbled sounds so wonderful doesn't it?  Actual humility is a tough business though.  If you've ever been humbled like this you know it comes with a sense of guilt or a sense that we did not deserve what had been done for us.  So even though it sounds like we received a ton and it was just this beautiful season of plenty,  this was really a lesson for us and I am only now, a year later, able to see it as clearly as I do.  So I am so thankful that today, 9/14/13,we are where we are, but I am also extremely thankful for where we WERE and where we were taken, how we were shaped and molded and refined.
Zech 13:9
"...This third I will bring into the fire, I will refine them like silver and test them like gold.  They will call on my name and I will answer them"
Thank you Lord for this experience. I called on your name, and you indeed answered me.

Elements to a successful start of preschool

As promised, the details of George's first day of preschool ad nauseum.
The quick and dirty, the day was absolutely perfect.  Everyone but Nana and Grammy may continue with their day now.

George woke up earlier than usual which turned out to be a good thing. I had just enough time to pray about our day but not enough time to agonize over it before he ran into my room and jumped on the couch/love seat with me.  Over the past few weeks, this spot has become sacred to me.  It is where I start my day, pray by myself and with George, where I read the Word, and where Georgie always finds me when he wakes up.  Anyone who has had a three year old knows that those few moments right after they wake up are the most special, sweet moments.  As soon as the blood starts to flow the crazy sets in.  But these sweet morning moments are some of my favorites. He just grins at me and does the sleepy laugh at whatever I say or do.  Its the ONLY time when he allows himself to be snuggled for longer than fifteen seconds.
So before he came in I prayed for God to help him do well today. The Spirit also prompted me to pray for myself, that I would be ready to let him go to school.   As I look back, this was key.  Children read our emotions and moods so clearly.  We had eggs, toast and banana and got dressed.  Then I decided to go ahead and get my run in for two reasons.
#1- Completely selfish. It would not happen if I did not do it before I took him to school
#2- He always notices when I wear anything other than runner's shorts and a tank top or t-shirt.  There's a reason I do not have a fashion blog. If I as much as put on shorts that are not cotton or rayon, he always stops what he is in the middle of, mid-sentence usually, and asks "Mom-where are we going?". Poor thing. It confuses the heck out of him when I put on clothes.
So today I decided we would stick to our "norm" as much as possible.  Who cares what the other families think if I am the stinky, sweaty mom at drop off? While on our run I tried to talk as much about school as I could. I have just learned that it is actually a good thing to go ahead and talk about these things when he is in an environment where he feels comfortable.  That way I can steer his thoughts in a more healthy direction while he feels very secure.  I even went as far as to ask him if he would cry when I left.  He told me that he would not cry.  So I asked him what he would do if someone else cried.    He did not know so I told him that I packed stickers in his book bag and he could give them one and tell them it will be okay.  He said, "If its a gwirl (girl), I would rub their back".  I thought that was pretty darn sweet.
Why stickers? When I was in the second grade, our family moved to a new city. I was very nervous to go to school and make friends.  I still bite my nails to this day because of that move.  But my wonderful Mom gave me some of the best advice and a great tool for that process- a pack of stickers.  Share a gift with someone and it warms their heart. And yours too. She told me that if I saw someone that I wanted to be friends with, I could offer them a sticker and ask them to play.  This has remained in my toolbox for "how to make a friend" for over 20 years.  I find myself in the kitchen a lot these days as I bake and make lemonade for new friends, the adult version of those stickers. So thanks Mom, you probably never knew those sticker trick would- well- stick.  

 We got there a little before drop off time (I know, I was surprised too!) so we talked with the other kids and their parents. When they opened the gate we had a few things to accomplish.  Find your owl name tag, sign in and put your picture on the felt board to show that you are "here".  Once we did all we were supposed to do, George made a bee line for the train table.  His teacher saw him and said hello and he stopped and turned to her and said, "Can you pway wif me?".  She looked a little surprised but took his hand and said, "Sure I can, what do you want to play with?".  So I called after him and told him I would leave now and he walked over, gave me a hug and a kiss and a wave and a "byebyeseeyouwaiter"and that was it.  So I left and felt as free and as satisfied as I have in awhile.  And I didn't even cry either!

I went to the salon for an overdue groom and was as relaxed as I could be.  This was a gift from the Lord.  I went straight back to pick him up and arrived ten minutes before pickup (early- again!?! what is happening to me?) When I saw him, he had a dirty face and a dirty shirt, sand in his shoes, pink cheeks and a band of little boy sweat around his precious little noggin.  Priceless.  Just perfection.  

Then as if the day could not get any better, George called to say he was on his way home.  I would say it was early, but it was a day late.  He never came home last night.  A dinner and presentation in front of more than 50 VIPs and surgeons was followed by a return trip to the hospital to check on a patient in a lot of pain.  That trip turned into a surgery at 2:00AM, followed by his regular day of work on Thursday.  Two cases were cancelled for the afternoon, which allowed him to be on his way home at the same time as I picked George up from school.  So I told him to go home and get some rest and we would be back in an hour because I had planned to take little G out to lunch to celebrate his big brave boy day.  George said, "No way! I want to hear about his day and I am hungry too".  So he came and we all celebrated little George's first day of preschool together.  What a gift that was!  He was in the same clothes as he was in when he left the house Wednesday morning.  By the time lunch was over, both boys had their socks and shoes pulled off and guess who got to carry them.....ME!!! George looked at little George and said "Buddy you'll be in school from now till you are my age" Wow, now there's something to think about.  

So, not only did God give us the perfect day at preschool, out of his extravagance he also gave us togetherness at lunch of all times on this special milestone of a day.  What a surprise gift!

Matthew 7:11 "How much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him"

One final element

2 Cor 9:14-15 "And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you because of the surpassing grace God has given you.  Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift"

The prayers of others are the indescribable gift that I received today.  

Recap

#10- FUBU prayers ("for us by us" or "for me, by me") yes, you can pray for yourself, its ok.

#9-A good nutritious breakfast- thats for you Gra'ma

#8-Normal routine; however sweaty and stinky it may be

#7-Talk it out in comfortable setting

#6-Drop off plan and stick to it. Hug, kiss, wave- Get the heck outta dodge

#5-Activity to keep Mommy's mind occupied while she is away (such as a spa day or the like)

#4-Be on time at both ends- don't try to pack too much into the day

#3-Good, devoted teachers

#2-Wait for and even EXPECT extravagant gifts from the Lord

#1- Prayers of the saints in your life. 2 Cor 9:14-15

Thank you for all your prayers for us. They might have just been the #1 Element of a successful first day!

September surgery anyone?

So this past Monday, September 9th, I mentioned was uneventful.  Well, two years ago on this date, the day held a main event.  Never had I ever had so much on my mind and heart.  The morning of September 9th, two years ago, my daddy would go under anesthesia for brain stem surgery.  I will never forget the moment when I walked away from him under that white sheet on that stretcher.  Call me dramatic, but I did not know if I would ever see him again.  I just did not know.  So we waited in that waiting room in Arizona for hours upon hours, each of us able to take a bathroom or soda break every once in a while.  Every time someone came back from a break, they would ask this question, "Did the doctor come out yet? Did I miss anything?"  As the day wore on and the hours stretched out we took less and shorter breaks because we did not want to miss the doctor whose facial expression would tell us everything. Such tension. As we scoured the room, trying to be patient, trying to be hopeful, one family after another was relieved of their  tension. For better or worse, they were relieved of their tension.

He finally came. And I found myself, all alone for some crazy reason, as I followed someone who I had never seen before into a room where I did not want to go with my mom and sister nowhere to be found.    I honestly cannot remember if Aunt Steffi or Uncle Phil was in there with me.  I hope neither of you will be offended if you were there, but I just can't remember.  We had waited for hours for a sign from a doctor, but it was obvious there would be not a moments worth of wait for my mother or my sister who had gone for a quick relief from the suspense.  "This girl will do, its his daughter- not his next of kin, but we've got another brain surgery to get to, so we can just tell her".  I imagine thats about what they thought.  I was terrified.  Why did I have to do this? Where was mom?  Where was Lauren? Terrified, because I have worked in hospitals, I know what those small cube like rooms are for. I've experienced that room.  I still do not know why I had to face that alone, but there was Grace in the moment for although the facial expressions did not portray it, Dad came through the surgery just fine.  I cannot remember exactly what was said, it was extremely rapid-fire speech in contrast to the calm thoughts I had beckoned for the past few hours. After I had filled the many long hours of one of the longest days of my life with bible verses and prayers the speech directed at me from the nervous resident/fellow as he tried to impress his "boss" sounded like Swahili and to this day I do not know exactly what was said.  I did know that Dad was okay for the moment and that was all I needed to know.  I did have trouble as I tried to relay the message to Mom. I knew she wanted to know every thing the doctor said, but I just could not for the life of me extract it from my memory. 

That was the morning of September 9th, 2011.  Uneventful, I think not! Lauren and I flew back to North Carolina on 9/11/11 the ten year anniversary of 9/11/01.  I could not neglect that fact as I write this on 9/11/13.

This Saturday, September 14th, will mark the one year anniversary of George's thyroid cancer surgery. That was an eventful day as well.  Re-read the first two paragraphs of this post. I had many of the same emotions and fears except now I get to be the "next of kin".  His parents were, of course, there with me so again, I waited it out one year and five days after Dad's surgery.  Different hospital, different people in the room, different risk/benefit analysis, same wait.  Well, actually it was entirely different.  This was my husband.   I will not go into all the emotions that swirled in my mind and heart that day but I will say that the fact that God had pulled my Dad through a year before was a source of inestimable encouragement.   So in light of these surgeries I just wanted to politely ask you not to fill my September calendar with any more surgeries and to invite you to read two psalms that helped me so much on these very eventful days.  

Psalm 91- One of Dad's favorites 

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 71:5-21

⁵ For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
    my confidence since my youth.
⁶ From birth I have relied on you;
    you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
    I will ever praise you.
⁷ I have become a sign to many;
    you are my strong refuge.
⁸ My mouth is filled with your praise,
    declaring your splendor all day long.

⁹ Do not cast me away when I am old;
    do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
¹⁰ For my enemies speak against me;
    those who wait to kill me conspire together.
¹¹ They say, “God has forsaken him;
    pursue him and seize him,
    for no one will rescue him.”
¹² Do not be far from me, my God;
    come quickly, God, to help me.
¹³ May my accusers perish in shame;
    may those who want to harm me
    be covered with scorn and disgrace.

¹⁴ As for me, I will always have hope;
    I will praise you more and more.

¹⁵ My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
    of your saving acts all day long—
    though I know not how to relate them all.
¹⁶ I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord;
    I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
¹⁷ Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
    and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
¹⁸ Even when I am old and gray,
    do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
    your mighty acts to all who are to come.

¹⁹ Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
    you who have done great things.
    Who is like you, God?
²⁰ Though you have made me see troubles,
    many and bitter,
    you will restore my life again; 

from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.

You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.

Baby Steps

We had a chill weekend, possibly because it was so short.  Sunday George went into work for a ten hour surgery. He left at 5:00 am and did not return until 6:00 pm.  So, George and I went to church by ourselves and of course, he would not go to the nursery. So he stayed with me in church and was pretty good but I did not hear much of the sermon.  So the whole day felt like just another Monday instead of Sunday and then it was over and I had not mentally checked any days off the week's calendar as I looked towards the next weekend.

Our stroller popped a tube so I had to search for an REI to get it fixed.  I found one and also found a very helpful sales associate who gave me tons of great ideas for trails. I proceeded to research them and saw all the posts about encounters with bears and other "wildlife".  No, thank you.  I will stick to my boring neighborhood routes and take the risk of being hit by a car.  At least the car would not EAT me after it hit me.  I seriously got chills as I looked at these pictures people had taken of grizzles they saw while on the trail. What the heck. Why did you wait around to take a picture???

Our actual Monday was pretty tame and uneventful as well.  My favorite part was FaceTime with my girlfriends.  Just the sight of them lifted my spirits and was the highlight of my day. I miss our every other week get togethers so much, but thanks to technology I can at least see them every once in a while.  They are super friends and I just love them.

Tuesday, however, was a huge day! I hardly had time to check Facebook! What have I missed!?!?! I hope you can sense the sarcasm but it was that busy of a day and it felt good.

We went to George's new school for an open house.  He had a blast. First went to the playground, where he met his wonderful teachers and I met the other children who will be in his class and their  parents.  Then we went on a treasure hunt of the classroom where we checked off the locations of all the important things: the potty, the sink, the cubbies-where he found a Hershey's kiss- the circle mat, the birthday board, the "watch me grow" chart, the paint easels and the big blocks.   I tell you what, to see his little picture up in several places was surreal.  To imagine that someone else will direct his play, steer him in the right direction, discipline him, comfort him, and teach him was, well, I can't quite put into words what it felt like.  It was a relief to see and meet others who care about his education, and emotional intelligence and feel called to teach these young sweet ones.  It was a relief to feel my burden lifted just a little.  It was also a little sad to be know that this will begin the process of healthy growth of my child as I  "let him go" little by little.  I realize that before long he will be own his own in college.  Thank goodness we are expected to only accomplish this by baby steps.  Preschool, then Kindergarten, then grade school and camps, then high school and sports....then college and beyond.  Baby Steps.

He LOVED the train table and it was all I could do to get him away from it to find all the things we were supposed to hunt for.  They painted a name tag for themselves and took a "first day" picture.  He was a very big boy and I was proud of him.  He shook the teacher's hand and said " Nice to meet you" and then halfway through the treasure hunt he bypassed me and went straight to the director and said "Do they have a potty? I need to go Pee Pees" At the end they found  a treasure box full of little treats to take home.  He chose a lizard ring, after I made him put back the spider ring.  SORRY. I don't do spiders, kid.

After we digested this experience for a few moments in the parking lot and discussed all the fun things we saw and did over a bag of Pirate's Booty, we had a first playdate with his friend from church and her mommy (the preachers family).  This was a lot of fun. Those two play well together.  As he napped, I cleaned and then Lauren and Tac came over for our weekly "Mommy's happy hour".  He was still asleep when they arrived and it was kind of nice to talk to Lauren like a real person.  Tac was so cute because he just learned to stand and occasionally he takes a step or two.  It brought back good memories and I can't believe how fast the time has passed since I had encouraged George's every first step.  We had to clap every time he stood up. He would stand, turn around, and look at us as he waited for his applause.  So sweet.  He LOVES Dean and squeals with delight at the sight of the big black doggie, especially when Dean licks his toes.  George woke up and was hesitant to share his toys.  We have got to get more kids over here so he can practice that.  Once again, preschool will be so good for him.
When big George got home around 8:45, he heard our giggles from the dark room where George was supposed to be getting sleepy. He came in to the room and little G was excited to tell him all about his day at preschool.  It was so special to be there as a family as G shared his day with his Daddy.
Whew! What a full day.
Not sure what we should do Wednesday but I think it should be restful!

Put on the Armor

Floods of Blessings this week but still not a drop of rain.

Tuesday, George found out that he passed Step One of the Orthopaedic Board Exam! Praise the Lord! So much prayer and preparation went into the successful completion of this exam.  The many early mornings, late nights, missed meals and even arguments it costed our family, the many hours put away behind those "Ortho-Bullets" and the immersion in his study guides and books was well worth it now that a "pass" has been granted.  A PASS to perform, a PASS to put into practice all the skills and knowledge imparted to him by devoted role models and teachers, a PASS to provide for his family, a PASS to perfect his skills as he practices.  This pass to the profession that George is so passionate about is such a joy and blessing from God.  We feel it is as if God is in agreement with us that this is indeed the path he has set for George.  By this pass, we are welcomed into his army of helping healers.  God is the Great Healer and Physician but gives some of his children the gift of a medical mind and the gift of sure, strong, precise hands.  He has given George both of these gifts and I can say that George has listened and obeyed his heavenly Father (and his earthly father too) in his decision to follow this long, rocky, but blessed path.  Praise be to GOD!


Our second blessing of the week came on Wednesday. A nurse found George's loupes that he lost (read about that here) last week.  She- thankfully- placed them in a locked cabinet to keep them safe, but -unluckily- went on a long weekend vacation.  She sought him out Wednesday and said, "Have you been looking for your loupes? I have them!"  Wow, thank you God for that.  Now we can buy groceries this month (That was in jest but it is not that far from the truth).

Our third blessing came at four in the morning on Thursday.  Georgie got out of bed and came to get me to sleep with him for the fourth morning in a row.  Keep in mind I fall asleep with him at night at this point and did not get into my bed the night before until 10:45pm. Keep in mind also that I have been sick this week.  I have had a horrible cold that has left me with no energy but plenty of stuffiness and fullness in my head.  So I hit that point. I said to my sleepy three year old 'No- I will not come right now, its too early, go back to bed".  That phrase is a lot easier said than done, I can tell you. I did not exactly "stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around my waist".... That little sleepy face.... So I agreed to tuck him in. That led to potty time which led to water time which ultimately led to big George's entrance as Mean-Daddy-that-gets-the-job-done-time.  So I turned my fan on so I could not hear anything that was said/yelled and tried to go to sleep.  Poor big George, he had to be be the bad cop. He felt so bad, no one likes to yell or lay down the law.  OK- I realize this does not sound like a blessing at the moment....it will get there.  Eventually after two hours of screams and tears and chaos, Georgie fell asleep.  It was a late morning for husband George so before he left for work we sat together and had a few moments as husband and wife, in this hard season- together.  We talked for a few golden moments and then said a little prayer about our next few days.  You see, we decided in this moment to rip the band-aid off in the sleep department.  No more Mr. Nice Mom, no more late nights in little George's bed, no more naps with him either.  We are sure it confuses him and we know what we have to do.  We are now prepared.  Prayer is preparation.  Prayer is when you put on the armor of the Lord and go into battle.  I must admit, prayer together is one of the areas in our lives that could use some practice and work.  Its not a regular occurrence and we'd both like that to change.  At any rate, we did this morning and it felt good to let the Lord help carry our burden, no- TAKE our burden from our shoulders.  We gave it to him "Lord, we need help. We cant do this.  Help us"

So when George awoke for the second time on Thursday morning we went on a beach trip.  We decided on Santa Monica Pier out of convenience.  A run on the boardwalk and then my second workout- the trek to the ocean from the boardwalk with everything a three year old requires on the beach, stroller and all.  I bet I am a funny sight- bathing suit and running shoes clad as I, head down and arms extended push that orange stroller with all my might that is filled to the brim with sand toys, lunch, blankets and towels.  And there's little George who will... maybe, if he's in the mood... carry one cup and complain about it the whole time.

We had a full day, came home and George was too exhausted to sleep so he played quietly in his room.  When George came home from work, I had to go to a meeting for George's preschool.  I came home fully prepared for a huge disaster.  Just where is my trust? Come on Becca, "Take up the shield of FAITH!" Big G just looked at me and said, "He did awesome!"  So there you go, our third blessing of the week.
After another meeting at his preschool Friday morning, we celebrated this victory with some extra-special stickers for his sticker chart, a trip to McDonalds (yes, they do have them here-hard to find but they do exist) for a happy meal and a cupcake from "My Sweet Cupcake" downtown South Pas.  He chose a day old mini cupcake with a pink dot and I got one for me and big G also (because really, its a victory for us too!) I got lemon curd for me and German Chocolate for George. Ok- I feel bad. I actually got two for me.  They had key lime and I just could not decide!!!
I am very very very excited about his preschool classroom and teachers. They seem like they really know their stuff.  We have a classroom drop in day next Tuesday and his first day by himself is Thursday.  I am slightly anxious but I know he will eventually get the hang of it.  I will have to put on the armor of God and have my feet "fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace" (Eph 6:15) in order to leave my little guy for the first time in a setting of that nature.... the "real world" I guess.

Finally, "Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests." Eph 6:17-18