Get your champagne glasses ready...
A toast to Lindsay
Before I begin I would like to apologize to Dan. Although this is your special day too, this toast is really all about Lindsay. I do apologize. I think the world of you and don't mean to leave you out, but I have way more dirt on Lindsay! And this will also be a good window through which your your family can see who this Lindsay girl really was, is and will continue to be.
Numbers 6:24-26
“The Lord Bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face SHINE upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace”
So Lindsay and I became friends by default and by grand design. I’ve known her since she came to Parker Middle School and I should mention for Dan’s family, from day one in middle school, Lindsay was in the cool crowd. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet and EVERYONE loved her. All the boys were crushing on this one. Dan- you are a lucky man. But the most beautiful thing about Lindsay is that she did not even notice. All that attention went way over her head. Sounds cliche’ and most people are trying to be nice when they say things like that at rehearsal dinners but I can assure you, it was and is true of Lindsay. So Lindsay and I found ourselves in the same places at the same times almost constantly. For that I am grateful. Otherwise, I am not sure I would have been confident enough to make friends with her. I was a shy kid. So, we lived in the small city of Rocky Mount and went to the same church, were in the same girl scout troop, went to the same dances, had the same friends, went to the same pool, played sports in the same leagues, etc. We were smooshed up in this small town together and eventually the inevitable happened- we realized we clicked on a lot of things. Youth group was really the thing that glued us together I think. Kris- who you will get to know this weekend if you don't already know her- was one of the biggest influences on us as young teens. She led our youth group. Its amazing how sharing your hearts, even at such a young age, can create such an inseparable bond. Since Lindsay’s mom and dad poured their hearts and souls into youth group the entire time I knew them, Lindsay pretty much had to come every week. My family made it clear that if I did not want to do church youth choir (which I can assure you- I did NOT)I had to do youth group. I can hear myself now- “ sure, mom and dad, I will go on weekend long ski trips, sleepovers, eat junk food, be with my friends if you just don't make me go to youth choir- sounds like a deal to me”. Anyway- Lindsay's parents, Kris and many others made that a very special, safe and meaningful place for us both. We also went to the same summer camp, spent spring breaks together, and attended the same parties- I should mention we spent “senior night” together. What’s senior night?…. A few words to paint the picture : All night the night before the first day of our senior year: Open Field, Pickup trucks, brown bag, no adults, spray paint, shaving cream. What, did you expect me to skip those parts? Heck no! Those were the golden years, the “sunshine years” - if you will. So by our senior year, Lindsay and I were pretty much best friends. We decided we needed a secret slogan or phrase. IDK why, high school girls just do that kind of thing. After much thought, “YAMS” was created. Now, YAMS is an an acronym for “You Are My Sunshine”. Lindsay and I also liked that our anacronym spelled out a southern vegetable. (upon looking up Yams on wikipedia, I found out that yams are actually native to Africa and Asia, but whatever, we think its Southern…maybe candied yams are Southern?). We still use this, ALL THE TIME.
We remained close friends in college even though she turned her back on her Tarheel roots and went to NC State. Sorry- your dad paid me to put that in. The “sunshine years” continued our freshman year as we saw each other often. I met Lauren Winslow and Lindsay knew my freshman roommate from Governor’s school. We did the Chapel Thrill Halloween thing and I went to some design school parties with her.
Psalm 4:6-7
“Let the light of your face shine up on us, O Lord,You have filled my heart with greater Joy than when grain and new wine abound”
But you never know who your sunshine is until it gets dark, right? Well, Easter morning my freshman year, things got dark. Lindsay was there in the church yard waiting for me with open arms hours after a breakup and a speeding ticket to boot. That day, she was more my sunshine than ever. At that age, under those circumstances, about the only person a girl wants to see is her best friend at a moment like that one. Well, sophomore year-(are there any kids in here?) shit hit the fan for both of us. We both found ourselves in a dark place, a stormy place, a place deeper than either of us wanted to be. Don't want to send the mood down but this is so much a part of our story. We held each other up during this time. We were each other’s sunshine and boy we needed it.
John 1:5
“The light SHINES in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it”
I’ve never told you this story Lindsay but early one fall morning in Chapel Hill I set out for my daily run. I was feeling so depressed and sad this particular morning.. It was the worst I had felt in a long time. For some reason, I began to think about my family and my friend’s smiles. I think the Lord just knew I needed some Joy. I am not talking about the smile we’ve all learned to put on for the camera. I am talking about that smile that lights up our eyes, that smile that comes from somewhere deep down inside of us where Joy lives. When you laugh with a best friend, or see a puppy, or meet the man of your dreams-- that smile. I spent a good long moment meditating on each smile and when I came to Lindsay’s, tears came to my eyes. We were both so low that I realized I had not seen that smile in a long time in myself or my best friend. In that moment, I made a plan. I would let Lindsay see my smile again and I would do my very best to bring hers back too. So I began to pray for her and for me to be joyful again. Not happy- because happiness is different than Joy- I wanted to see that smile again on her face and on my face. There was nothing I could physically do myself to make that happen but miraculously God made it happen.
2 Cor 4:6
“For God who said ‘Let the light SHINE out of darkness’ made his light SHINE in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ”
And now look at her, show us that smile Lindsay. There it is. Doesn't she have a great smile? I teared up even as I wrote this toast. Thank you Lindsay for being my sunshine through the bright, golden, sunshine years and through the dark, storms of my life also. I have some carrot/ yam seeds here for your garden at home so you can remember that you always have sunshine somewhere. Even when its raining or stormy. And here’s a little nugget I have learned from my measly six years of marriage-only measly because several folks here have enjoyed years upon years of this kind of wisdom and I want to respect that. The rain and the storms in your marriage are just as important (I think they are MORE important) to your growth as a couple as this glorious moment we are experiencing right at this moment. This wedding weekend will be Glorious, Golden, Shining and memorable. This is the mountaintop. My prayer for you both is that you will also see the rain and the storms that will surely come as useful and as a huge part of your journey; accept them and welcome them as a way for God to be your Master gardener. It is His way of removing the weeds from your garden and replacing them with living, thriving green plants and eventually fruit in abundance. I pray your harvest will be plentiful. I love you and wish you both the best.
Matt 5:14 and 16
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden…in the same way let your light SHINE”
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