September surgery anyone?

So this past Monday, September 9th, I mentioned was uneventful.  Well, two years ago on this date, the day held a main event.  Never had I ever had so much on my mind and heart.  The morning of September 9th, two years ago, my daddy would go under anesthesia for brain stem surgery.  I will never forget the moment when I walked away from him under that white sheet on that stretcher.  Call me dramatic, but I did not know if I would ever see him again.  I just did not know.  So we waited in that waiting room in Arizona for hours upon hours, each of us able to take a bathroom or soda break every once in a while.  Every time someone came back from a break, they would ask this question, "Did the doctor come out yet? Did I miss anything?"  As the day wore on and the hours stretched out we took less and shorter breaks because we did not want to miss the doctor whose facial expression would tell us everything. Such tension. As we scoured the room, trying to be patient, trying to be hopeful, one family after another was relieved of their  tension. For better or worse, they were relieved of their tension.

He finally came. And I found myself, all alone for some crazy reason, as I followed someone who I had never seen before into a room where I did not want to go with my mom and sister nowhere to be found.    I honestly cannot remember if Aunt Steffi or Uncle Phil was in there with me.  I hope neither of you will be offended if you were there, but I just can't remember.  We had waited for hours for a sign from a doctor, but it was obvious there would be not a moments worth of wait for my mother or my sister who had gone for a quick relief from the suspense.  "This girl will do, its his daughter- not his next of kin, but we've got another brain surgery to get to, so we can just tell her".  I imagine thats about what they thought.  I was terrified.  Why did I have to do this? Where was mom?  Where was Lauren? Terrified, because I have worked in hospitals, I know what those small cube like rooms are for. I've experienced that room.  I still do not know why I had to face that alone, but there was Grace in the moment for although the facial expressions did not portray it, Dad came through the surgery just fine.  I cannot remember exactly what was said, it was extremely rapid-fire speech in contrast to the calm thoughts I had beckoned for the past few hours. After I had filled the many long hours of one of the longest days of my life with bible verses and prayers the speech directed at me from the nervous resident/fellow as he tried to impress his "boss" sounded like Swahili and to this day I do not know exactly what was said.  I did know that Dad was okay for the moment and that was all I needed to know.  I did have trouble as I tried to relay the message to Mom. I knew she wanted to know every thing the doctor said, but I just could not for the life of me extract it from my memory. 

That was the morning of September 9th, 2011.  Uneventful, I think not! Lauren and I flew back to North Carolina on 9/11/11 the ten year anniversary of 9/11/01.  I could not neglect that fact as I write this on 9/11/13.

This Saturday, September 14th, will mark the one year anniversary of George's thyroid cancer surgery. That was an eventful day as well.  Re-read the first two paragraphs of this post. I had many of the same emotions and fears except now I get to be the "next of kin".  His parents were, of course, there with me so again, I waited it out one year and five days after Dad's surgery.  Different hospital, different people in the room, different risk/benefit analysis, same wait.  Well, actually it was entirely different.  This was my husband.   I will not go into all the emotions that swirled in my mind and heart that day but I will say that the fact that God had pulled my Dad through a year before was a source of inestimable encouragement.   So in light of these surgeries I just wanted to politely ask you not to fill my September calendar with any more surgeries and to invite you to read two psalms that helped me so much on these very eventful days.  

Psalm 91- One of Dad's favorites 

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 71:5-21

⁵ For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
    my confidence since my youth.
⁶ From birth I have relied on you;
    you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
    I will ever praise you.
⁷ I have become a sign to many;
    you are my strong refuge.
⁸ My mouth is filled with your praise,
    declaring your splendor all day long.

⁹ Do not cast me away when I am old;
    do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
¹⁰ For my enemies speak against me;
    those who wait to kill me conspire together.
¹¹ They say, “God has forsaken him;
    pursue him and seize him,
    for no one will rescue him.”
¹² Do not be far from me, my God;
    come quickly, God, to help me.
¹³ May my accusers perish in shame;
    may those who want to harm me
    be covered with scorn and disgrace.

¹⁴ As for me, I will always have hope;
    I will praise you more and more.

¹⁵ My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
    of your saving acts all day long—
    though I know not how to relate them all.
¹⁶ I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord;
    I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
¹⁷ Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
    and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
¹⁸ Even when I am old and gray,
    do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
    your mighty acts to all who are to come.

¹⁹ Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
    you who have done great things.
    Who is like you, God?
²⁰ Though you have made me see troubles,
    many and bitter,
    you will restore my life again; 

from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.

You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.